Friday, March 14, 2008
Fear of My Birthday
I haven't had a birthday I've looked forward to in a long time. Last year I was depressed cause I was in a relationship that was ending and I had almost lost a friend. The year before, I found something bad out about one of my friends and I've told no one. The year before I had just moved here, had a fight with my ex and was depressed. 2 birthdays in the past I recieved phone calls telling me my Dad had taken out loans under my name and never paid them. Thanks to him I have bad credit. This year I am at the Dr's office for a sickness I've had fr 3 weeks and told no one about. The Dr's reaction made me nervous and what he had to tell me made me scared, upset and depressed. Apparently I can't eat seafood, dairy products or drink. That doesn't sound so bad except for the fact I mostly eat seafood and I have my birthday/going away party this week. He also has me going for 3 tests. One test today and 2 in a couple of days. He also wants me to take tomorrow off from work. That sounds nice except I could use the money and I already have been sick so much this year. I'm pretty confused. My birthdays scare me when they approach.